| <3 |
[fév. 16e, 2007|12:22 am] |
EkovaMorphine: my friend eloise has spent hours trying to download fonts
EkovaMorphine: she eats paper.
checkeredgeek: ...
EkovaMorphine: she is the most amazing person i've ever met |
|
|
| the ants shall inherit the earth |
[fév. 4e, 2007|05:21 pm] |
| [ | Humeur actuelle |
| |  exanimate | ] |
| [ | Musique actuelle |
| | baby, black is all you see | ] |
i'm sorry i was the needle that broke your back
you were here you were here you were here
don't look back.
i am who i was before the storm
things lost their meaning
they lost their form
good bye good luck god speed |
|
|
| Appreciate the Absurdity of Reality Week |
[fév. 2e, 2007|05:34 pm] |
this week's event of amusement occured after a relatively normal night at meridian park hospital. the schedule included a routine cystoscopy (an inspection of the interior of the bladder). well, the patient gets so disoriented and grouchy on the drugs given to sedate him and he attempts (and succeeds) to pull his foley (a catheter that's inserted into your urethra and ureter in order to help drain the bladder of urine) out with this little balloon at the tip fully blown up. it turns out that he needs to have his prostate removed due to it being extremely enlarged, and so he rips the cathether through his swollen prostate and through his urethra anyway, causing so much blood to engorge in the penis, that the massive hematoma (bruise) migrated down into his scrotum.
well, there was so much blood in his penis and scrotum that the simple pressure of reinserting the foley caused the scrotum to SPLIT OPEN RIGHT DOWN THE MIDDLE, SPILLING BLOODY TESTICLES AND EPIDIDIMOUS EVERYWHERE.
the funniest part of this is the circulating nurse, who said about the whole thing, "usually when something like that happens, you start to brainstorm, you know? 'i'm going to need this pan, and these instruments, and i'll call so-and-so' etc. i couldn't do anything but stand there in utter disbelief! it was like i expected KITTENS to come out next!"
in other news, i'm flying out in two days and i'm completely unprepared to deal with this, but thank you to all of you with your supportive comments.. it's really made a difference knowing i can call someone if i need it.. |
|
|
| ....so...... |
[jan. 25e, 2007|04:42 pm] |
| [ | Humeur actuelle |
| |  destroyed | ] |
on saturday my mom told me her doctor had found a tennis ball sized mass on one of her ovaries. she had rescheduled for an ultrasound of the mass today.
the call this afternoon is what i had prepared for but floored me anyway.
the mass is actually the size of a large grapefruit, and completely solid (indicating cancer and not a cyst). the following cat scan came up negative for metastases (no smaller tumors anywhere like her lungs, liver, brain, bones), which is probably the only good news so far.
the doctor wants to remove it as early as monday. god, i'm scared, i can only imagine how fucking terrified she is. she said "but i'm not ready to have surgery on monday! who's going to clean up my messy house? take care of my cats? teach my classes?"
I'm already looking for flights out to indiana. the good thing is work is being pretty understanding about it - they're going to give me at least a week or so paid time off so i can go out there on such short notice.
my poor mom. she's only 44 years old.
i don't want to grow up. i don't want to face my mom dying. i don't want to have my shit together. i just want some ice cream and someone to rub my back while i cry. |
|
|
| another night |
[jan. 6e, 2007|09:10 pm] |
| [ | Tags | | | fuck. | ] |
| [ | Current Location |
| | fuck this | ] |
| [ | Humeur actuelle |
| | fuck you | ] |
| [ | Musique actuelle |
| | fuck that | ] |
of sobbing to myself drunkenly.
it doesn't get better, unless you mean the days when you spend more time asleep than you do awake, because, for some reason, the moments you're awake are more like nightmares than anything you could ever make up in dreams.
my advice is this: don't ever depend on anyone, because the minute you do is the minute they'll let you down. history repeats itself, so don't be a fucking sucker. |
|
|
| (pas de sujets) |
[déc. 7e, 2006|03:27 pm] |
my phone had a traumatic experience with a wall.
*sigh*
i guess i haven't been in that great of a mood lately.
anyway, if any of you still care, and would like me to have your number, send it my way.
my new one is: 503.752.4968
as for an update? i'm not really sure. it seems like the months have all just bled together, and while other people are working towards events, it seems like i'm just getting lost in my twenties.
i'm quitting my job soon. i'm thinking about going back to the food industry. instead of trying to cure people, i'll just make them full.
as always, i'm continuing to think of gifts for people that i can't afford. one is a shirt for don that would say 'Fuck you and your sides of ranch.' |
|
|
| life. |
[nov. 18e, 2006|06:59 pm] |
the more shit changes, the more it stays the same.
most of this is bad news. i rarely check it because it remains such.
fragmentation, stagnation.
obliterate. |
|
|
| hopeless savages |
[oct. 4e, 2006|06:51 pm] |
| [ | Humeur actuelle |
| |  blank | ] |
so there's no internet in my new house, save for the free dial-up that i achieve on a scrap computer with a mish mash of parts that's held together with bondo and runs linux... the keyboard is covered in motor oil and the right-hand shift key doesn't work. there are no flash players, and i can't log into my gmail account..
other than that, the windows in my room 9which is, essentially, the attic0 (see what that shift key is doing to me!?!) are simply shoved into place, wedged above a very steeply pitched roof. i'm attempting to put hinges on them but they're extremely hard to approach from the outside. there are no ceiling lights, but there are two ceiling fans, and only wires that come out of the wall that i'm assuming is telephone.
there's still a body stain on the carpet from the dude who committed suicide a few years ago - apparently the extent of the effort of clean up was sprayed simple green, a blot, and a throw rug to cover up. *shudder* no wonder he's still haunting the place, parts of him are still THERE, under my bed...
the good? i just baked an apple pie with apples from the back yard, organized the spice cabinets, and have big plans for some pseudo construction in my room - and my roommates are totally cool with it, and in fact, are encouraging me to alter whatever i want pretty much however i want...
i'm mostly moved in, and i've recently adopted a bearded dragon (i'd put in a link but i'm pretty sure this browser won't allow it)... he came from a habitual stoner who called him "puff" but i feel pretty stupid calling him that so i'm waiting for the inspiration of a better name.
i still hate work, but i'm going to be getting a raise pretty soon (like this week), and i'll hopefully have them pay for me to get my anesthesia tech certification, which will help me find a better job.
i'm lonely as all hell. but i guess maybe this will give me time to read some more. |
|
|
| navigation |
| [ |
viewing |
| |
most recent entries |
] |
| [ |
go |
| |
earlier |
] |
| |
|
|
![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif?v=92.2){kind=small}
lisadeadly
